


Reason For Refill

by breakdancingfish



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015), Kingsman: The Secret Service RPF
Genre: Eggsy Likes Disney Princess Movies, M/M, Unrequited Hartwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 04:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3677313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakdancingfish/pseuds/breakdancingfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy has to release every hostage in Valentine’s complex individually. The last hostage happens to look just like Harry, but is actually an actor named Colin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reason For Refill

**Author's Note:**

> This story stars a real person in a fictionalized role, as the movie _Kingsman: The Secret Service_ does not exist, and thus Colin Firth and Taron Egerton have never met. 
> 
> Also, Mark Strong doesn’t wear glasses often, which is my justification for the minor plothole of him going unmentioned.

Eggsy didn’t care how. He didn’t care why. All he cared about was who, and that who was Harry Hart. Who was a surprise resident in Richmond Valentine’s dungeon. Eggsy was frozen in place, taking in this information at the doorway. There had to be a reason Eggsy was the one to find him. It was his second chance and he couldn’t let it go to waste this time. Resolved, he rushed to Harry and grabbed his face with both hands.

“Holy shit! I am so glad you’re alive,” Eggsy said, quickly pushing his lips up to Harry’s. It was their first kiss, although a long time coming if you asked Eggsy, but he still worried about Harry’s reaction and kept it calm accordingly. Eggsy simply left their mouths pressed together as he released Harry’s face and pulled him into a tight hug. Eggsy ended the kiss, whispering, “I really thought I’d lost you.” He rested his forehead on Harry’s shoulder. 

“Well, I must say I’m glad I’m alive too.” Yes, classic Harry understatement. “But I’m curious, are we all getting this greeting or do I just happen to be your favorite?” 

Eggsy laughed. “I highly doubt I could say that to a politician with a straight face.” 

“No, I suppose not.” 

Eggsy backed up a step, taking in the sight of Harry, gorgeous as ever. His hair wasn’t in his typical impeccable style but more of a natural, for lack of a better word, fluff. His clothes definitely weren’t Kingsman issued, but of course Valentine would have made him change out of the bloodied garments. Those things didn’t bother Eggsy, but the look on Harry’s face did. As though he didn’t know what to do, as though he was waiting for instructions, as though he was just another hostage. 

It was then that Eggsy processed what had previously been white noise, Merlin yelling his name. Probably had been for a few minutes. “Sorry Merlin,” Eggsy said, “I was a little distracted.” 

“Eggsy, that man is not Harry.” 

“You need to speak into the mic Merlin, it sounded like you said,” he gestured to Harry, “this man isn’t Harry.” 

“That is correct.”

“I thought I was being released by an overzealous fan, but it seems I should introduce myself. My name is Colin Firth.” The man held his hand out to Eggsy, who stared at it. Now that he mentioned it, Eggsy thought that was the prisoner name listed for the cell. Inputting an alias made sense, because there was no telling who could have gotten their hands on the data. But how could Valentine have brainwashed Harry to believe he was someone else so quickly? Was this just another part of his evil plan? And weren’t evil plans supposed to cease after the mastermind was impaled by the sidekick’s prosthetic leg? 

Merlin interrupted Eggsy’s attempt at comprehension. “He’s an actor. Didn’t you have to watch _Pride and Prejudice_ in one of your classes? He played Mr. Darcy.”

“Pretty sure I fell asleep that day.” A cavalcade of images arrived in Eggsy’s line of sight: performing various roles, attending film premieres, winning awards. The hand was still waiting. Eggsy shook it so it would go away. Not only was the skin too soft, but the touch was too brief. Harry’s hands always lingered, always made Eggsy feel like he could be more than he was, whether he was clasping his shoulder before leaving or untying him from the tracks. All this man made him feel was confusion, he couldn’t possibly be Harry. 

“An introduction usually involves more than one person.”

“Call me Eggsy.” 

“How unique.” 

Merlin cleared the glasses feed of the visuals. “You good now? Lancelot and I are almost back.” 

“They’re not related?” 

“No, they’re just lookalikes. They say everyone has a twin. Would you feel better to know that Harry was aware of their resemblance and pretended to be Mr. Firth to get out of predicaments on multiple occasions?” 

Eggsy didn’t respond. Not-Harry had tilted his head as though waiting for an explanation. Eggsy did suppose it would be difficult to follow the conversation with only one audible participant. What was his name again? It wasn’t Conor, it was similar though… 

“Sorry, Colin was it? You look like someone we know,” Eggsy said, indicating his glasses at the “we” and mentally kicking himself at his usage of present tense. 

“Your entrance makes sense now.” Colin gripped Eggsy’s bicep and continued, “I’m sorry for your loss.” 

Eggsy nodded, then stepped aside to give Merlin the status report. Everyone had been sent to the main hall, now serving as holding area, with strict orders against touching any bodies. They’d never hear the end of it if they rescued someone famous only to lose that someone to any remaining neurotoxin. And as insane as Valentine was, he kept his word that the hostages would not be harmed. No one was in need of medical treatment. 

“Good work, meet us at the landing area.” 

Eggsy interpreted Merlin’s words as a sign-off, so he pocketed his glasses and pointed at the actor. “You’re coming with me.” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” he said, following Eggsy through the corridor. “I’m glad to be out of there, although it’s looking like that was the better place to be.” Eggsy turned to see a disgusted look on Colin’s face as they passed some of the headless soldiers covered in unidentified colorful residue. 

“Yeah, we took out all the accomplices, but the signal was active for several minutes. Just, you know, be forewarned.” They continued in silence until they reached the plane. As they ascended the stairs, Eggsy yelled, “Roxy!”

“What?” she yelled back as they entered. “Oh, hello sir. I’m sure you hear this all the time, but you were brilliant in _A Single Man_.”

Colin smiled. “Why thank you, although I don’t hear it nearly as often as I get requests to sing ABBA songs.” God, not only the looks but Harry’s charm too? Just stop. 

As Roxy giggled, which Eggsy hadn’t really thought she was capable of, he said, “So you knew all about the man who’s a perfect replica of Harry Hart and didn’t tell me?” 

“I thought everyone knew about Colin Firth, it’s not my fault if you have zero knowledge of popular culture.” 

Merlin stepped out of the cockpit. “You brought him on the plane. I didn’t tell you to bring him on the plane. Why did you bring him on the plane?”

Eggsy shrugged. “I don’t know, why did Valentine have him here? Some questions just don’t have answers.” 

Merlin shrugged. “I don’t know, was he a _Love Actually_ fan? He did have Liam Neeson here too.”

“Well that one could also be chalked up to keeping a potential threat in check.” Everyone looked at Roxy. “What? I wouldn’t want to piss him off.” 

“I’d like to see him if you don’t mind,” Colin said. “A familiar face to discuss the madness with would be nice.” 

“I don’t mind. In fact you should be with all the others right now,” Merlin said, glaring at Eggsy. 

“Okay, okay. For a moment I thought Valentine had brainwashed Harry into thinking he was someone else, and once you convinced me he wasn’t Harry I was like, well, why couldn’t he be? He’s already an actor, and it’s not like making movies will be a priority for anyone for who knows how long and–” 

Colin interrupted to ask, “Do I get any say in this?”

Merlin sighed. “Eggsy. If Harry had any unresolved cases pending that required his presence, that would have been a reasonable idea. But it is unreasonable to hijack this man’s life exclusively to appease your unresolved emotions.” 

Eggsy crossed his arms in front of his chest but didn’t deny Merlin’s assessment. All four stood there, their eyes darting back and forth at each other. Finally, Colin moved toward the exit and said, “It seems I’m unneeded here so I’ll just be going to join everyone else.” He halted, seemingly waiting for one of them to say something. 

No one did, but as Colin resumed walking Eggsy pulled him backwards by his elbow and into a kiss. It wasn’t the same as earlier’s chaste, first of hopefully many because you’re still alive kiss. Instead it was tongue in throat, hands everywhere, what Eggsy would have done to Harry before he’d left if he’d known he wouldn’t be coming back. Eggsy got in a tug of Colin’s lower lip with his teeth before he pulled back and gasped for air. Colin stood there looking shocked but somehow more handsome. 

“Maybe those emotions are resolved now,” Eggsy said and shot an amnesia dart into Colin’s neck. 

It was determined the best course of action would be to drop Mr. Firth at his home before returning to headquarters. Still unconscious, Eggsy and Merlin walked him to the front door with one of his arms around each of them. As they waited for someone to answer the doorbell, Eggsy glimpsed the destruction in the vicinity. At least four cars were crashed, one house was on fire, and he could hear someone sobbing next door. It was probably for the best that no one was home. 

Merlin was about to break a window but Eggsy held up his hand to wait. He reached in Colin’s pockets, ignored the look on Merlin’s face and forced himself not to enjoy it, and eventually pulled out a set of keys. They placed Colin on the couch, Eggsy returned the keys to his pocket, Merlin locked the door, and that was that. 

Later when Eggsy was filling out the post-saving-the-world documents, he realized Merlin had included a few labeled _Resupply Request_ , and had generously already completed several lines on them. Date of use, object used, etc. But on the one for the amnesia dart, the bottom blank was highlighted and also had a sticky note with an arrow pointing to it. Eggsy pondered the wording, then slid his pen across the paper.

_Reason For Refill: I was excessively melodramatic._

***

When Roxy invited him over to watch both _Bridget Jones_ movies, she told Eggsy it was for his own good. If he’d known who was in the cast he might have bailed. The last thing he needed was to watch someone who looked just like Harry in a couple of romantic comedies. Fortunately Eggsy’s strongest reaction was wanting to punch Hugh Grant’s stupid face. 

Afterward, Eggsy still wasn’t sure of Roxy’s motivation. “I’m sorry, how exactly were those supposed to help me?” 

“Do you think that man could ever activate a grenade?” 

“The character or the actor?” 

“Same answer isn’t it?” 

Eggsy thought very briefly, then nodded. 

“What about electrocute someone or shoot a dog?” 

“If all you’re doing is emphasizing that he’s not Harry, I got that already. Thanks.” 

“And was your fascination with Harry based exclusively on his physical appearance?” 

Eggsy figured that question didn’t need an answer as he glanced over at the DVD case. “It’s not like I have a problem. There’s a decent chance we’ll never see each other again.” 

Roxy narrowed her eyes at him. “You could easily stalk Colin Firth without him ever seeing you.” 

“I’m offended you would even suggest such a thing!” 

“Don’t tell me you hadn’t considered it.” 

Eggsy feigned being scandalized, but still appreciated Roxy’s concern. “Well, it’s been fun, but how about next time we just binge watch cartoons or something.” 

“If I don’t have any ulterior motives at the moment, sure,” Roxy said with a smirk. 

***

Eggsy warned the tailors, but apparently he was the only person on the planet who didn’t know who Colin Firth was. Nonetheless, they were all told to contact Eggsy immediately if the man appeared. He had the good fortune of being in town when he got the call almost a fortnight after the incident. He made it to the storefront in record time. 

“Mr. Unwin, did your offer include shoes?”

“Sure, whatever he wants. Just, you know, normal ones. Don’t want him becoming an accidental murderer.” 

As the assistant went to fetch them, Eggsy took a seat on the couch. He stood when one of the fitting room doors opened and the head tailor escorted Colin back into the lobby. By some stroke of luck Colin wasn’t wearing his glasses. Eggsy wasn’t sure if he could deal otherwise. He couldn’t produce a reason to be himself under the circumstances, so Eggsy turned on his posh persona. 

“Ah, Mr. Firth! I was wondering when you would take me up on my offer.” 

Colin approached him almost sheepishly. “The thing is, I don’t actually remember you making it. I lost an unknown amount of time during the chaos, and just found the company card in my pocket stating I was entitled to a free suit. Don’t remember you either, Mister…”

“Unwin, but you can call me Eggsy.” 

“Not exactly a common name, you’d think one would be able to recall it.” Eggsy was beginning to feel guilty, the amnesia was clearly bothering Colin. Eggsy and Merlin could have surrounded him with empty beer bottles or something, at least provided an excuse. He supposed it wasn’t out of the question to create one retroactively. 

“Oh dear, I’m afraid that was my fault. You see, my plane was recruited to pick up some of the British kidnap victims, and as you boarded I spilled red wine on your jacket. Hence my wanting to replace your clothing. Then we all drank. A lot. Hence your forgetfulness.” 

“Hmm.” Colin was focusing much too hard on the selection of ties. “I also don’t remember having a jacket in the cell.” 

“I can’t comment on that,” Eggsy said, even though he very well could. “Someone might have loaned it to you on the way out. Whatever the circumstances, we tossed it.” Eggsy picked up a dark gray tie, draped it on Colin’s shoulder, and changed the subject. “Anyway, what color did you select? This goes with everything.” 

“I hadn’t actually decided yet. Perhaps I’ll just let you surprise me.” Colin hand drifted along the array of colors and patterns. “I might not have retained specifics, but I have the impression you were dressed just as well the last time we met, so I think I can trust your eyes.” He chose a solid green and held it up to Eggsy’s face. “But trust me that this is best for yours.” 

Whoa, was Colin flirting with him? Sweet. Eggsy flashed a large grin. “And what if I just went for the full-on green suit?” 

“People might not be able to handle it.” 

“And would those people include you?” 

Colin opened his mouth but quickly closed it when the door opened and four men entered. Shit, Dean’s lackies. Eggsy had been meaning to visit the Black Prince to teach them another of Harry’s lessons on manners but hadn’t yet got around to it. 

“Told you my source was good. We’ll have him back to Dean in no time.” Poodle looked at the gang defiantly. “And bonus, the geezer’s here too. Even more fun.” 

“Excuse me,” Eggsy said, “but I believe he sufficiently made his point last time. This time I think I’ll let him watch.” He gestured for Colin to sit down, which he did without hesitation. 

Rottweiler added, “And no umbrellas!” 

Eggsy rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, I only take my umbrella to gunfights.” 

With that quip he stepped forward and headbutted Poodle hard enough to knock him on his ass. Eggsy grabbed the light fixture dangling from the ceiling and swung his feet into one of their chests, toppling him into another one like dominoes. Then he dropped to the floor and kicked the last one standing’s legs out from under him. Poodle was getting up though. Eggsy slid behind the counter and around to the other side, having grabbed a stapler on the way. 

“Tell Dean if he ever steps foot in here,” Eggsy said as he held the stapler up to Poodle’s crotch, “he’ll have a permanent phobia of office supplies.” 

“Come on guys, I think we’ve got enough to report.” Poodle and the other two left, but the tall one stayed, and once again he was reaching for his gun. Stupid Rottweiler. Eggsy reached under the table, grabbed the umbrella and had it open before the safety had even been disabled.

“Okay, I’m going!” he said without firing a shot. 

Eggsy shook his head. “Too late.” He stunned him anyway, and rolled him out the door. That was when Eggsy remembered that Colin was sitting on the couch. He was staring with an expression on his face that was probably fear, possibly impressed, hopefully attraction. It was likely the same expression Eggsy had when seeing Harry fight for the first time, and he knew how he’d felt in that moment. Strike that, the man’s married. Eggsy most definitely did not hope for attraction. 

He went and sat beside Colin on the couch. There were many things Eggsy could say, but he wasn’t sure he could nail the delivery of needing to let off a little steam, so he said nothing. Apparently a lock of his sun-lightened hair had fallen against his forehead during the action, because the next thing he knew Colin was pushing it back into place. He finally asked, “Who _are_ you?” 

“I told you, call me Eggsy.” 

“Well Eggsy, in response to your earlier question, I’d like to think I could handle it.” Colin leaned in closer and his voice dropped to a whisper. “I might handle it better than anyone else.” 

Fuck. As the wheels turned in Eggsy’s mind, he was having major difficulty convincing himself not to allow Colin to test out his handling abilities. In a moment of clarity, Eggsy knew what he had to do. The tie was still on Colin’s shoulder, how appropriate that it happened to be a shade of gunmetal. He placed it around Colin’s neck and quickly tied it into a loose knot. 

Eggsy left his hands in place, said, “Maybe next time,” and shot an amnesia dart into Colin’s neck. 

_Reason for refill: I umbrellaed excessively._

***

“Come on,” Eggsy whined, “it had to be the only move after he’d seen me in action, right?” 

“Yes, but you offered him a suit. I didn’t tell you to offer him a suit. Why did you offer him a suit?” 

“I don’t know, I guess I just felt I owed him something,” Eggsy explained, trying not to meet Merlin’s stern eyes. “And maybe I wanted to meet him again under different circumstances, I don’t know.” 

Roxy pointed out, “You said you don’t know twice.” 

“Yet you managed to recreate the exact same circumstance.” Merlin pressed a thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose. “It would have been fine for him to be aware of Kingsman because of our assistance in his escape. But that’s no longer an option since either you couldn’t live with the embarrassment or assumed he couldn’t.” 

“Yes Merlin,” Eggsy said with a salute. “Rox, why are you here for my lecture?” 

“If Merlin can’t convince you that you’re being ridiculous, I’m backup since I know how you operate.” 

“Aren’t I allowed at least a little bit of crazy given the circumstances?” 

Merlin voice managed to get more authoritative. “You’re allowed a psych evaluation and a leave of absence, you are _not_ allowed to give Colin Firth a suit.” 

“I don’t know how long he’d been there. The dose might not have been enough to erase the entire fitting.” 

“He might think it was a dream,” Roxy pointed out again. 

“Regardless, he was wearing one of our ties when I put him in the cab. You know, with our logo tag on the back. How long do you think it’ll take him to trace it back to the shop?” 

“Dammit Eggsy, stop fucking things up.” Merlin pointed to his monitor. “I have actual agents doing actual missions and facing actual danger. I shouldn’t be wasting time attempting to correct the mistakes you keep making because you have a crush on an actor.” 

“Good lecture. I’m fully convinced of my dumbassery.” Eggsy paused but no one said he was wrong. “I do need to know how to proceed though.” 

“Go ahead and give him the suit. And this should go without saying but _not in person_. Have a courier deliver it.” 

“Will do. We still on for the dog park tomorrow Roxy?” 

“Yes, you idiot.” 

***

The suit was delivered to Colin’s door less than a week later. Extraordinarily fast for bespoke, but it actually had a superficial delay. They could have given Colin the completed product before Eggsy escorted him out of the building, because every sample product was made with Harry’s measurements. They actually might have done that had the man been awake. 

Colin Firth didn’t even enter Eggsy’s thoughts most of the time. The few times he did come to mind, Eggsy just reminded himself that as uncanny as the resemblance may be, the man’s not Harry. In fact, Eggsy had come to the conclusion that Mr. Firth was only an issue if present. He did carry Harry’s same commanding presence, so Eggsy told himself to just ignore Colin if he saw him and move on. 

Easier said than done, when Colin was suddenly cupping his face on the sidewalk and kissing him like his life depended on it, as though Eggsy was the only remaining source of oxygen on the planet and needed to suck every breath of air from his lungs. Come to think of it, kissing as though one’s life depends on it only makes sense in _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_. Once that train of thought derailed, he had sense enough to push away. 

“What the actual fuck man?” Eggsy asked, mentally noting to himself that they’d never met. 

Colin’s only response was, “You’re a hard man to find.” 

“I’m sorry, you’re going to have to give me a little more than that. I don’t get kissed by celebrities on the reg you know?” 

“I kept closing my eyes and seeing your face without even knowing if you were real.” Colin was stroking a finger along Eggsy’s cheek. “I guess I’m just glad you’re not an invention of my vacant mind.” He seemed to think he needed to give Eggsy space then, and leaned against the railing. “The doctors say my recent bouts of forgetfulness are probably just a side effect of the signal. But I doubt that, don’t you?” 

A rush of shame filled his throat, leaving Eggsy with no idea what to say. He almost rattled off that memory loss would be pretty much the best side effect of the signal someone could hope for, but thought that might be pushing it. Eggsy would gladly work through any memory loss issues with Harry if he could just come back. 

Curiosity got the better of him though. “You said I was hard to find. How’d you do it?” 

“Well it wasn’t until the suit arrived that I knew the tie wasn’t just a fluke. I paid Kingsman a visit but you weren’t there… what’s your name by the way?” 

“Gary.” 

“Hmm. I expected some cute nickname. Anyway, so you weren’t there but I just had this feeling of familiarity. I discovered the déjà vu was justified when the tailor recognized me and asked if there were any problems in need of adjustments.” 

“But surely you get recognized all the time, right? Oh, that reminds me. I was wondering if Hugh Grant is in desperate need of a punch to the face in real life or is he just highly skilled at acting super obnoxious?”

Colin avoided the topic change. “When I asked about the young man from the previous fitting, they verified my suspicions and said you didn’t have a set schedule and couldn’t say when you’d return. So I’ve been lurking nearby during business hours recently.” 

“Wait, you’ve been stalking me?” 

“Not the word I would use. Waiting would be more accurate.” 

Eggsy shook his head. “So what now?”

“To be honest I didn’t expect to ever actually catch you so I haven’t thought that far out.” Colin shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. The gesture forced Eggsy’s thoughts to a mantra of not Harry not Harry not Harry. He quickly ruled out suggesting getting a pint or even a coffee. Before Eggsy could think of a reasonable activity or excuse to get out of one, Colin continued. “I suppose you could enlighten me as to the activities I no longer remember. Or why I can’t forget your face.” 

“Classified. I can neither confirm nor deny anything.” Merlin would have been proud. 

But Colin clearly was not, as his eyebrows furrowed. “You just confirmed that there’s something to classify.” 

“Would you like an, ‘I don’t know,’ or an, ‘I wouldn’t know, we’ve never met,’ or something of the sort? At least classified is honest.” 

“Why don’t we just make small talk like typical strangers? Nice weather we’re having.” 

“Indeed.” Eggsy really didn’t have a clue how to proceed. He was tempted to go directly into the shop, but suspected Colin would just follow. It was best to say nothing, right? This interaction could end without using his watch. 

“I’ll have to take care of my yard soon, the grass is getting too tall.” 

Really? Fine. “Oh yeah? Didn’t have any scorching?” 

“No, the debris didn’t make it that far.” Colin started squinting at Eggsy then, and it dawned on him that he’d said too much. Shit. “I’m sorry, how did you know about my neighbor’s fire?” 

Eggsy stammered for a moment. He placed one hand on Colin’s chest, and said, “I’m sorry.” 

“What for? You’re not an arsonist are you?” 

“No, I’m just out of ideas,” Eggsy said, and shot an amnesia dart into Colin’s neck. 

_Reason for refill: I ran my mouth off excessively._

***

In hindsight, Eggsy realized Colin’s flirting at the fitting was perhaps an important enough detail to be shared. He wasn’t going to make the mistake of not providing enough data this time. Eggsy showed up with the entire body. After brainstorming with Merlin, they decided to put him in the hospital wing. And then Merlin sat Eggsy down for what he assumed would be further criticism. That was not the case, but might have been preferred. 

“Eggsy, have you ever seen _Inception_?” 

“Don’t watch too many movies, Merlin.” 

“Well you should watch that one for two reasons. First, one of the supporting actors is a doppelganger for Chester King. Almost every IMDb page features message board debates as to who someone looks like.” 

“Haven’t we had the double discussion already?”

“Yes, and the second reason is more relevant. This is over summarized, but in the movie a man is made to think he came up with an idea when a team creates it for him in a dream.” 

“Are you trying to tell me I’m asleep?” 

“No, I’m telling you that I believe Mr. Firth is subconsciously retaining elements of your forgotten interactions, thus thinking he’s attracted to you whether he actually is or not. If it’s exponential, the next time he might be performing lewd activities on you in public.”

“Give me a little more credit Merlin, I’m not _that_ gullible.” 

“I’m guessing you haven’t seen _50 First Dates_ either.”

“Are you telling me you _have_?”

“I’ve been bored in a lot of hotel rooms. I’ve seen a lot of questionable movies. Point is, the girl with the memory loss dreams of the man she’s supposedly never met.”

“Not sure your point’s getting across. Sing the song from _Sleeping Beauty_.” Merlin didn’t respond. 

***

So Eggsy got into character. Brushed up on his medical terminology, donned a white coat and draped a stethoscope around his neck. Merlin was even so kind as to create a “Dr. Unwin” name badge for him. He inquired as to if Roxy would be playing the role of a nurse, to which Eggsy received a swift punch to his arm. The goal was to avoid inducing any additional amnesia attacks, but to be on the safe side no one else was going to enter the room. The last thing they needed was Colin Firth obsessing over another person. 

Eggsy entered, clipboard in hand, pretending to examine charts. “Ah, you are awake. Good morning Mr. Firth.” 

“It’s you. Where’s your suit?” 

“Of course it’s me, I’m your doctor. Oh no, did you have another episode? What’s the last thing you remember?” Eggsy started shining a light into his pupils. 

Colin said nothing but did seem to be considering the question. Eventually, “I was waiting outside a bespoke–”

“When do you think this was?” 

“I don’t know, yesterday?”

“Mr. Firth, you’ve been here for a week.” Eggsy hated lying to him. It felt like lying to Harry. “You’ve previously mentioned dreaming of that place.”

“It seems more likely this is a dream. I don’t know how I got here.” 

Eggsy anticipated this thought. “How many fingers do you have?”

“Ten.” 

“No, look and count.” 

Colin did as he was told. “Still ten,” he said, sounding annoyed. 

“You’re probably not dreaming. You’re free to continue testing yourself, though I don’t recommend attempting to fly out the window at this height.” 

Colin slid down the bed and pulled up the blanket. “If I’m not dreaming, I think I’d rather be asleep.” 

“That can be arranged.” Eggsy stepped toward his IV. “You might not recall, but we’ll release you as soon as you go 24 hours without further memory loss.” 

“Great, sedate me.” Colin started to roll to his side, but stopped and asked, “How exactly do you determine success then?”

“If you recognize me as your doctor and don’t think I’m someone else, you’re good to go.” Eggsy left the room, glad he didn’t have to spew any bullshit about synapses. 

The next day Colin Firth left Kingsman headquarters, cleverly disguised as Avalon Hospital, theoretically without any desire to stalk his doctor. And that was that. 

***

Merlin waited until Eggsy had taken a seat. “I might have found a solution to your Colin Firth problem. That is if you consider his infatuation and potential obsession with you to be a problem.” 

“Isn’t the fact Eggsy’s in love with a dead man who shares Colin Firth’s face more of a problem?” Roxy asked.

“I guess I only have a problem with him when I see him, you know?” 

Roxy chimed in with, “Which isn’t always in your control, is it?” 

Well duh. Eggsy scrunched his face in frustration. “I might not necessarily _want_ a solution to potentially making out whenever I encounter Colin Firth, but I suppose I _need_ one so I don’t then have to dart him. What’s the plan?”

Merlin held up a photograph. “We’ve located your double.”


End file.
